Asked not so long ago what she had to say
about "sex and violence" in the movies, a popular actress said,
"Piano nga hindi ako marunong tumugtog, violins pa kaya?"
Hmmmmm. Witty? Yes - if she intended
that "quotable" to be so.
No, the actress "spokening" wasn't Melanie
Marquez who, like that one, is a self-confessed Madame Malaprop.
(Note: Malapropism, meaning "a ludicrous misuse of a word," is derived from Mrs.
Malaprop, a character in the play The Rivals by Richard B. Sheridan, 1751-1816)
I love my long-legged friend Melanie for, among other reasons (besides her
fractured English), her way of unwittingly amusing and regaling us with her,
that's it, malapropisms on national television.
During the passionate word war between her half-brother Joey Marquez
and Kris Aquino, Melanie provided the "comic relief" by mouthing quotables, thus
firming up her reputation as the (uncrowned) Quotable Queen.
The good thing about it is that Melanie herself
is amused/regaled by those little jewels tumbling out of her mouth, profusely
especially when she's angry. She told me that she would have her TV
guestings recorded and once she got home, she'd have a fun time watching
the tapes and, yes, laughing at herself.
That's the spirit, 'no?
"Bakit," Melanie said during an interview.
"'Yung magagaling mag-English diyan, may Miss International title ba sila?"
Oo nga naman. Mayroon ba kayo?
Don't look now but Melanie is seriously thinking
of compiling her "Melanisms" into a neat little book like the
pocket-size Mao little red book (of quotations, or Maoisms).
Nice idea, isn't it?
It should be a best-seller (like President Joseph Estrada's Eraptions).
When Melanie told me about it, I suggested
that she jazz up the book with cartoons and call it Quote Me.
But wait. Don't judge Melanie just yet
because, as we all know, she's not a book.
Here and now, my friend Jonathan Chua (who's
a STAR contributor) has compiled some Melanisms for inclusion in that
much-awaited book, to wit:
. My brother is not a girl; he's a gentleman.
. That's why I'm a success, it's because I don't
middle in other people's lives.
. Don't judge my brother; he's not a book.
. I won't stoop down to my level.
. Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?
. 'Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya
nakuha yan.
. Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo... Pag
di ka naman manutok ng baril.
. We are lovers, not fighters.
. Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the
same.
. I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival.
. Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at
manigong taon sa inyong lahat.
(During her acceptance speech at a Metro
Filmfest awards night where her
bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong
Marquez, won an award.)
. Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
. Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!
. Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation
point.
(When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr.
Right.).
. At a talk show after her break-up with Derek
Dee, Melanie was asked if she
had some words for Derek's mother (whom she
partly blamed for the separation).
"Oo nga," said Melanie, "pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan
niya." She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty,
said, "And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!"
A few more:
- When asked for a message to her daughter
who was allegedly abused by their houseboy:
"Don't worry little angel, big angel is here."
- On what they should do to the houseboy who
molested her kid: "He should be put behind bar."
- "You can fool me once, you can even fool me
twice, you can even fool me thrice. But you can never fool me four"
- While waiting backstage during a noontime
show, after watching Nikki Valdez do her dance number. "Nikki, you're so
galing. You should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes"
May the Force Be With Us.
about "sex and violence" in the movies, a popular actress said,
"Piano nga hindi ako marunong tumugtog, violins pa kaya?"
Hmmmmm. Witty? Yes - if she intended
that "quotable" to be so.
No, the actress "spokening" wasn't Melanie
Marquez who, like that one, is a self-confessed Madame Malaprop.
(Note: Malapropism, meaning "a ludicrous misuse of a word," is derived from Mrs.
Malaprop, a character in the play The Rivals by Richard B. Sheridan, 1751-1816)
I love my long-legged friend Melanie for, among other reasons (besides her
fractured English), her way of unwittingly amusing and regaling us with her,
that's it, malapropisms on national television.
During the passionate word war between her half-brother Joey Marquez
and Kris Aquino, Melanie provided the "comic relief" by mouthing quotables, thus
firming up her reputation as the (uncrowned) Quotable Queen.
The good thing about it is that Melanie herself
is amused/regaled by those little jewels tumbling out of her mouth, profusely
especially when she's angry. She told me that she would have her TV
guestings recorded and once she got home, she'd have a fun time watching
the tapes and, yes, laughing at herself.
That's the spirit, 'no?
"Bakit," Melanie said during an interview.
"'Yung magagaling mag-English diyan, may Miss International title ba sila?"
Oo nga naman. Mayroon ba kayo?
Don't look now but Melanie is seriously thinking
of compiling her "Melanisms" into a neat little book like the
pocket-size Mao little red book (of quotations, or Maoisms).
Nice idea, isn't it?
It should be a best-seller (like President Joseph Estrada's Eraptions).
When Melanie told me about it, I suggested
that she jazz up the book with cartoons and call it Quote Me.
But wait. Don't judge Melanie just yet
because, as we all know, she's not a book.
Here and now, my friend Jonathan Chua (who's
a STAR contributor) has compiled some Melanisms for inclusion in that
much-awaited book, to wit:
. My brother is not a girl; he's a gentleman.
. That's why I'm a success, it's because I don't
middle in other people's lives.
. Don't judge my brother; he's not a book.
. I won't stoop down to my level.
. Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?
. 'Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya
nakuha yan.
. Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo... Pag
di ka naman manutok ng baril.
. We are lovers, not fighters.
. Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the
same.
. I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival.
. Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at
manigong taon sa inyong lahat.
(During her acceptance speech at a Metro
Filmfest awards night where her
bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong
Marquez, won an award.)
. Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
. Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!
. Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation
point.
(When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr.
Right.).
. At a talk show after her break-up with Derek
Dee, Melanie was asked if she
had some words for Derek's mother (whom she
partly blamed for the separation).
"Oo nga," said Melanie, "pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan
niya." She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty,
said, "And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!"
A few more:
- When asked for a message to her daughter
who was allegedly abused by their houseboy:
"Don't worry little angel, big angel is here."
- On what they should do to the houseboy who
molested her kid: "He should be put behind bar."
- "You can fool me once, you can even fool me
twice, you can even fool me thrice. But you can never fool me four"
- While waiting backstage during a noontime
show, after watching Nikki Valdez do her dance number. "Nikki, you're so
galing. You should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes"
May the Force Be With Us.
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