Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer: Ok.
Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?
Customer: Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click.
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Customer: Do I need a computer to use your software?
Tech Support: ?!%#$
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Tech Support: Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?
Customer: Wow. How can you see my screen from there?
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Tech Support: What type of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.
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Tech Support: Type 'A:' at the prompt.
Customer: How do you spell that?
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Tech Support: What's on your screen right now?
Customer: A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.
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Tech Support : How can I help you?
Customer: My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion.
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Tech Support : What kind of browser are you using?
Customer: I have Microsoft Exploder.
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Tech Support : How may I assist you today?
Customer: How do I print my voicemail?
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Customer: You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly.
Tech Support: What does it say?
Customer: Something about an error and non-system disk.
Tech Support: Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?
Customer: No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.
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Tech Support: Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours.
Customer: Is that Eastern time?
===============
Tech Support: What does the screen say now?
Customer: It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.
Tech Support: Well then.. .what's the problem?
Customer: How do I know when it's ready?
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